The greatest
social and familial pressure everyone experiences is to conform. We
learn early in our life that if we want to get others to help us or
cooperate with us, we need to do what pleases them. We also find that
we get approval for how we are when we conform to others’ expectations
of us.
By conforming
to gain acceptance and approval, we pay a very dear price. We lose ourselves.
We create a split within ourselves – a division between who we
feel we are, and who we give the impression of being. Our self-image
that we show others becomes our dominant self. But this self-image betrays
our true self, and we suffer accordingly.
When we
live on the outside, we are dependent on circumstances and others. When
focused only outwardly, we are superficial and we do superficial things
to try to satisfy our desire for fulfillment. Not finding what we are
looking for, we go from one thing to another. It takes greater and greater
stimulation to achieve some sense of being alive – more intense
music, extreme sports, drugs, to name but a few.
The Soul
Journey is a shift of perspective from outside to inside. Taking the
Soul Journey is a voyage to authenticity, a return to our true self.
The journey does not involve disowning our self-image, our negativity
or the limitations of our personality. We acknowledge, explore and accept
what we are in our personality, but we base our living and actions in
the core of our being. We learn to go outside from the familiar place
we have discovered within.
To be fully
alive requires that we live from the source of life. This is within.
Living with attention and presence to our innermost reality makes us
independent and able to contribute in meaningful and fulfilling ways
in all aspects of our life. We then know we are alive, and can direct
our energies at will. Giving from our authentic self is not only fulfilling,
but it is creative and empowering to others.
When we
get caught up in conformity, neglecting the true self within, we are
only semi-conscious. The truth is that we can only be as authentic as
we are conscious, which means as we are soul-centered. And we are only
authentic when we are soul-centered.
Exercises:
1. In
what areas of your life do you habitually and consistently conform
and why?
2. No
one can be true to themselves unless they value themselves. How do
you value yourself?
3. List
the issues ongoing in your life that you are avoiding.